Dental Floss Dog

I’m having one of those mornings.

He shuts the dryer door when my arms are full of wet clothes, immediately after asking him not to
kind of morning.

A “GO INSIIIIIIIIDE!” after five minutes of being outside
kind of morning.

A “GO OUTSIIIIIIIIIIDE!” after five minutes of being inside
kind of morning.

All the cushions are on the floor for the seventh time
kind of morning.

My favorite jeans have gum on the ass
kind of morning.

He cries when I won’t give him the hose to play with so rather than have him vomit from despair, I give it to him.  I then let him waste 3790 gallons of water so I can clean the patio for 10 minutes
kind of morning.

It had better be Take Your Two Year Old to Work at Kris’s office this afternoon
kind of morning.

“Arlo!  Give Mommy that knife/hammer/saw/iphone”
kind of morning.

I’d better remember that I have neighbors who will call the authorities
kind of morning.

I dared to brush my teeth and he unrolled the toilet paper, emptied a cupboard and threw paperclips all over the office floor
kind of morning.

He won’t eat anything but must sit on my lap and play with my food
kind of morning.

I can’t have another day like today
kind of morning.

 

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2 thoughts on “Dental Floss Dog

  1. Oh boy. If I lived closer I would come over with a pot of French Press for you and a kid friendly straight jacket for the boy. Or maybe Xanax for both of you. You choose.

    Like

  2. Pingback: Face Plant « Black Panty Salvation

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