Becoming Mango

94 posts and not one about cooking.

If left to my own devices I follow the Seinfeld Diet:  cereal at home with meals out whenever possible.  I have a child and husband however so cooking and feeding happen on the daily.  Kris does the lion’s share of the cooking (though since I do every breakfast, lunch and some dinners, this isn’t *technically* true . . .) because he’s good at it and enjoys it.  I am not and do not.

. . . then eat for 10 minutes

It is a three item daily To Do list THAT CAN NEVER BE COMPLETED.  It is my 9th circle of hell.

Because I have little affection for food — nay, its preparation — I do not stockpile food items.  I keep one loaf of bread in the kitchen.  When there are less than four slices in the bag then and only then do I buy another loaf.  One jar of almond butter.  One head of garlic.  I do this with everything really.  For example I don’t have a dozen rolls of toilet paper stored in a cabinet somewhere.  I buy what we need when we need it.  But this is especially important to me when it comes to food.  I feel sick with stress and anxiety over a filled fridge.  MUST EAT. WILL SPOIL.  MORE WORK NOW!

My mother-and father-in-law are visiting.

All my mother-in-law wants is to do and give.  She is amazing and I love her.  But she bought tomatoes even though we had some because she didn’t want to use ours.  She bought zucchini even though we had some because she didn’t want to use ours.  She arrived with seven fully ripe mangoes because they would’ve gone bad if left at her house in New Jersey.  They are delicious but I’m becoming a fully ripe Mango:

And now my poor mother-in-law must witness the crazy.  At dinner when she said she needed to go to the grocery store I nearly passed out.  After dinner I insisted we take an assessment of what we already had, what was about to spoil, review space restrictions and then come up with a plan/menu and THEN decide if we needed to go to the store.

Did I mention all she wants to do is cook for us?  I’ve written it before but it bears repeating:  I am the best.

“Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky? Can you say to a rainbow… ‘Hey, stop being a rainbow for a second’?  No!  Such is Mango!”


3 thoughts on “Becoming Mango

  1. I totally “get” this. You have concisely described EXACTLY how I feel about food, how I approach cooking, how I obsess about waste and how I nearly become paralyzed with fear over the thought of cooking for more than just my family–which, thank the lord, is only 2 people now. I have become a little better in the past year or two but not nearly where I would like to be in the food comfort zone. What I do know is that if you and I wrote food blogs, we would have followers crawling through the cyber walls to get a taste of that action. What is it about people and their obsessiveness over food and recipes and braising and baking? Beyond my power of comprehension, I’m afraid. And what happened to us? Do you think it has something to do with all that cooking in Senior Home Ec?


  2. Pingback: Carrots « Black Panty Salvation

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