Cooter Works

Stumbled upon this hilarious Tina Fey quote from a 2002 Saturday Night Live episode:

TINA FEY: “The cover story of New York Magazine this week is Baby Panic. This goes perfectly with the other magazines on my coffee table – Where Are The Babies? Why Haven’t You Had A Baby? And, For God’s Sake Have A Baby. Thanks Time Magazine, this is just what I need: another article so depressing that I can actually hear my ovaries curling up. According to author Sylvia Hewlett, career women shouldn’t wait to have babies because our fertility takes a steep drop-off after age 27. And Sylvia’s right- I definitely should’ve had a baby when I was 27, living in Chicago, over a biker bar, pulling down a cool 12 grand a year. That woulda worked out great. But Sylvia’s message is feminism can’t change nature, which is true. If feminism could change nature, Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be all oiled up on the cover of Maxim. Ladies, there’s no reason to panic though, it’s out of your control anyway. Either your cooter works, or it doesn’t. My mom had me when she was 40, and this was back in the ’70s when the only fertility aid was Harvey’s Bristol Cream. So, waiting is just a risk that I’m going to have to take.”

And then she lost me:

“And, I don’t think I could do fertility drugs, because, to me, six half-pound translucent babies is not a miracle, it’s gross. I’d rather adopt a baby – I don’t need a kid that looks like me.  I was not a cute kid. I looked like a cross between that chick from the Indigo Girls… and the other chick from the Indigo Girls. Not a cute kid.”

Ouch.  Straight to my heart with that one.  Everyone knows I love the Indigo Girls.


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