I started keeping a scrapbook when I was 13 years old.
Now I create photo books from my digital images because I’m all with-the-times and stuff.
When I was pregnant with Arlo I kept detailed notes and photographs for his Pregnancy and Birth Book. The book is beautiful, the recollections it evokes tender, and I look forward to a lifetime of reliving those happy days. I have every intention of creating the same heirloom for Daughter.
Except I have no material.
This pains me greatly as it feels like my second child is already getting the shaft and by my own hand no less. Between the u/s photos, Facebook updates and creative license I will put something together but it’ll be thin. In addition to having a 2-year-old on deck, this pregnancy has been so different in that it has been plagued with illness. The altitude sickness in Colorado, the bronchitis, the food poisoning, hell – if I get a headache now it cripples me and then lasts for five days. I’m not the shiny, happy person I was while pregnant with Arlo but there is one very thick silver lining to this second chance:
I can’t wait to meet this child. I mean I cannot wait to see, smell, touch and slobber all over her. Who is she? Who is coming? Come here!
Friends who were pregnant at the same time as I was with Arlo would share this same anticipation with me and I just did not get it. I would ask if they were excited about birth and they would reply with things like “I’m just ready to be a parent!”. I was dumbfounded (as I was also terrified). I was excited about labor and birth and just hoped if I did that right, the bonding would follow. But now I get it – I absolutely understand – and I’m with you friends, I say “Bring her to me!”.
While Daughter’s book might be thin, it will be rich in desire and longing. And hopefully in the weeks to follow I’ll find the right words.