The Best Thing I Read All Week
Though I read it too late:
Flying Nannies will engage children in activities ranging from performing magic tricks to making crafts, origami and sock puppets. They will also give the older ones quizzes and tours of the plane. They will not, however, change diapers or take youngsters to the bathroom, “due to legalities and safety,” according to the website.
Etihad Airways’ all-female fleet of Flying Nannies were sent to England’s prestigious nanny-training school, Norland College, to study child psychology, sociology and child development. There the trainees were taught “to identify different types of behavior and developmental stages that children go through and how to appreciate the perspective and needs of traveling families.”
I won’t be flying on Etihad Airways anytime soon but this linked me to Nanny in the Clouds which seems downright possible:
“Our site matches you and your flight with potential nannies that are also flying on your same flight. This saves the cost of paying for another flight for a sitter, since they were already taking the flight that you are taking.”
You people and your thinking caps! Where can I get one? I know my in-laws want very much their grandchildren to visit India. I want this too but I DREAD the flights – I don’t care what’s waiting on the other side. With Arlo nearing age four, we’d soon be considering such a trip but now Farrah is here and has offered reprieve. BABIES RULE! MORE BABIES! Sooner than later though we will go to India and by gum, we will use this service.
For those curious as to how our flights to and from San Francisco went, enjoy my cloudy recall:
I booked night flights because 1) they are cheaper and 2) the kids will/should sleep. Since Kris and I are used to not sleeping I figured this was the best plan. Farrah will not sit still anymore (because she cannot yet sit) and Arlo is four.
- Because we told him over and over about sleeping on the airplane, Arlo refused to sleep in the airport.
- There is no horror movie that could scare me as much as seeing both my children wide awake at 10:30pm but my husband asleep.
- Weighing the fear of hip dysplasia from wearing Farrah in the Bjorn so long against her dropping to the floor because my arms have gone numb
- Looking for topless entertainment on your flight? I’m your girl.
- “If you continue to kick the seat, the pilot will stop the plane and throw Thomas out the window. Bye-bye Thomas.”
- Arlo chattering incessantly. Farrah wailing incessantly. And yet NO ONE ELSE SAYING A WORD.
- Fuck you video screen that won’t turn off. Clockwork Orange motherfucker.
- Four words: BARF BAG HAND PUPPET
I’m still shaking.
Happy Weekend and Safe Travels Dear Readers!