The Constant

We had a great Halloween this year.  See?


With age comes understanding and excitement, and it is awesome to behold.  I hope you had a great Halloween too.

Before trick-or-treating our friends hosted a get-together for the neighborhood.  After the ladybugs and firemen were in bed Kris was talking about these burgeoning neighborhood friendships; specifically how different people must behave when they’re not with their kids.  For example, one of the dads owns his own business – “He’s probably totally different at work!”  I shook the dust off my brain and pushed,  “What do you mean?  Are you saying you’re not the same at work as you are at home?” “No way!” was Kris’s response.  My visceral reaction was *gasp* then your children don’t even know who you REALLY are.  For the next ten seconds I experienced befuddlement, rage, melancholy and then finally, peace:

But I am the same.  I am their constant.

“Babies and young children have an intense need for the physical presence of a consistent, loving, responsive caregiver: ideally a parent. Daily care and playful, loving interactions build strong bonds. By providing consistent, loving care from early infancy, parents strengthen their relationship with their child and build a healthy attachment.” – Attachment Parenting International

It could have been Kris at home, had I the earning potential and he the breasts, but I am the parent who stays at home and to whom our children attach.  It is sometimes maddening – isolating and depressing even, but it is straight and true.  Trick and treat.

So, Dear Husband, go be who you are and do what you need.  I’ll be here.  The same me that is always me.  Just bring accolades and donuts when you get back.

Speaking of poignant realizations, this post reminds to re-watch the entire series of “Lost”, or at least Season 4.


6 thoughts on “The Constant

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