The Best Things I Saw All Week

Whenever I travel I am reminded how immense this wonderful planet is and beautifully diverse her inhabitants.  What I am most reminded of however is that Skymall has the solution to all my first world problems.


Why should I have to hold my own child while carrying him atop my shoulders, or as Skymall calls it, use the “traditional method”?  If there’s one thing kids love it’s being bound at the ankles.  Besides, you know what the traditional method gets you?  Pregnant.  And that just leads to more goddamned shoulder-rides.  Buy this instead.

I’m also buying this:


A giant eyeball that winks and carries 47 matchbox cars, almond butter and UTI meds?  Try and stop me America.

And for those of us not busy pulling a stranger’s straw/gum/iphone/discarded flip-flop out of our kid’s mouth, here’s the best method for waiting out a flight delay:


United indeed.

Have a Happy Weekend!



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