Sometimes I take pictures of intimate moments and if the picture is good, I’ll approach the subjects and show them.  Once the violation is absorbed they might ask for a copy.


These two were having such a moment but my shot quality was poor.  I kept watching and snapping from a distance and the shots improved but I couldn’t capture another moment that didn’t involve a third party, the father’s iphone.

iPeace iPeace iPeace

There was no one else at their table so this tiny child had only this man – presumably his father – to be present.  The only times I witnessed them interact was when the child dropped something, spilled something or stood on his chair.  Those actions provoked tender and affectionate reprimands but still I wondered what was happening on that phone.  It made me think about my own time with my handhelds.

My friend Laura and I were talking about iphones and parenting and I told her I’ve made peace with that partnership.  I think I’ve struck a balance.  You’ll never find me on a self-imposed technology hiatus – god no – that would be impossible especially as someone who keeps moving away from all her friends – but I don’t hide or hoard my phone when I’m with my kids.  I show my phone as a tool, not a grown-ups-only Pandora’s Box and I let Arlo use it as much as possible:

Arlo checks the weather.

Arlo follows the blue dot on the map.

Arlo asks to record thank-you videos when he receives a gift.

Arlo understands I use the phone to set up playdates, send a note to Daddy, take a picture of him at the top of the slide, find a cafe with toys and to buy a Halloween costume on Amazon.  Arlo also understands that sometimes I use my phone for my own reasons and when I’m done using the iphone, it goes back in my pocket.

I think my relationship with technology is fine but witnessing that morning’s exchange was a good opportunity to check myself.  Rare is Arlo’s clamoring or whining so I think I’m modeling responsible behavior.  I have peace in my pocket but that’s not to say I don’t come across a deleted app or surprise selfie every once in a while, but I’m okay with that.


How do you manage this delicate relationship?  How do you make your iphone less enticing while still using it as much as you do?



2 thoughts on “iPeace

  1. I don’t have children, so I’ve no idea how I would handle something like this. However, after reading about your approach, I think that would be the one I’d take. And, in fact, I don’t tend to have mine on very often anyway. The only time seems to be when I’m out of the house. At all other times? Off. (It’s not as if I’m that sought after.) It’s interesting to track how your shots improved as you kept taking them, and that selfie at the end made me smile. Such an unguarded moment!


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