Beneficiary

Arlo has always been free with his I love yous and as he grows older his I love yous grow longer and more geographical:

I love you all the way to China. Do they speak English in China?

I love you all the way to India. Do they speak English in India?

The other day when struggling for a new country Arlo sighed and said “Oh Momma, I just love you more than anything.”

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He says it all the time now and I find myself replying “Thank you my Darling.  I love you too.” but what I want to say is “I love you more than anything too!”  I’d like to be the one declaring it to him but can I?  Not with Farrah Star on my lap.  I mean she’s right there.  So instead I act as beneficiary of my son’s valentine rather than partner.  “Oh thank you, that was so sweet!”, the imbalance of our exchange just sitting there, balanced on my knee.

What do you do?  Take advantage of Farrah’s age and say it anyway?  Is that betrayal?  She’ll never know – until she knows and then I’ll whisper the same words in her ear.

I’m going to start to give more.  I want to be the first to say it.  I’m going to tell him and her that I love him and her more than anything and let the comparative chips fall where they may.  Will my heart tell my brain to let my mouth do that?

I’ll keep you posted.  I speak English here.

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Beneficiary

  1. I have four kids; so did my Mum. And just like she did us, I tell all of them that I love them most in the world. Neither us then nor they now seem to find it impossible. When Arlo is talking to you, answer him; when Farrah asks whaty about her, tell her “I love you most in the world too״. It’s the truth, after all, so why not?

    Liked by 1 person

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