Hydration is Pee

I was diving down Pinterest’s WTF Facts rabbit hole recently – you know these “facts” right?

Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 1.46.55 PM

Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 1.47.30 PM

and I came across one that said cats need their water bowl separated from their food bowl.  Then I read this off my other news source time-waster, reddit:

Screen Shot 2015-03-14 at 2.12.42 PM

This caught my attention because my cats – all the cats I’ve ever owned – don’t drink from their water bowl. This winter Grey and Black have been licking the frozen condensation off our windows and lapping up the sludge that passes through my potted plants.  I assumed this was just one of the many affectations felines possess and no vet professional ever counseled me otherwise.

I paid close attention to this WTF fact because one of my cats started peeing in my kids’ beanbag chairs; the chairs that cup their tiny bodies and cushion their tender curiosity.


Now those chairs are giant bowls of piss.

Wayward peeing always makes me think of two things: proper hydration and murder.  I sort of love my cats though, so I moved their water bowl instead of drowning them in it.  And do you know what happened?  They started drinking from their water bowl.  WTF fact FTW!

There’s no saving the bean bag chairs; I couldn’t get the stench out no matter how many showers I took with them but I the wayward pee has abated.  Thanks, Internet.

Rewind Wednesday:

December 2013, titled “Top Ten Reasons I Hate My Cats Plus One to Let Them Live“.  I guess I’m down to “Top Seven” now.


1. Black deposits the kids’ mittens, socks and hats all over the house.  Over and over, every day.  I despise this act as I am a tidy person.


2. Black is pulling my neatly folded clothes off my bedroom shelves and depositing them too all over the house.  When I’m finally able to get dressed for the day at 2pm, I have a mess to clean up first.

That is a maternity shirt UNDER THE CRIB.  At first I thought it was sign but it turned out to be my stupid cat.

3.  One or both of the cats pees on any pile of clothes left on the floor.  As a tidy person (see #1), I do not have piles of clothes on my floors but I do sort laundry and I have put my son’s nap linens by the door to take out the car – all of which has been peed on.  Fuckers.

4. It doesn’t have to be on the floor.  One (or both!  Probably both.  Assholes.) of my cats peed inside a storage basket in the closet.  That basket contained all of Kris and my’s winter hats and gloves.  I spent two naps times hand washing them and every day since scratching my head then smelling my fingernails.


Why are they peeing outside of their litter?  It must be dirty.



5. The only water acceptable to drink is inside Arlo’s fish tank.  Since Arlo sleeps with his door closed, the scratching and prying starts every day around 6am.  They have yet to wake him but if they ever do I will not be held responsible for what happens next.  Why can’t they drink out of toilets like normal pets?  Or perhaps out of the bowl next to their food?

6. They are loud.  And I mean LOUD.  Black is particularly obnoxious in her persistent howling and wailing.  I have a baby who rarely sleeps.  You marry that with two shrieking cats and someone’s got to pay.

7.  They pry open the cabinet door that holds all the toilet paper and like my clothes, it all gets pulled off the shelf.  This is annoying in of itself but if I don’t take care of it immediately, Farrah happens.

IMG_7577 IMG_7579

8.  Gray sleeps on Farrah’s changing pad and every time I use it I have to forcibly remove her cat ass and then brush off all the fur/litter crumbs she’s left as territory markers.


Would you look at her?  Maharacat.

9. They do that thing where they follow you around endlessly, howling (see #6) until you top off their bowl of food.

10.  They do that thing where they follow you around endlessly seeking love and affection even though you rescued two adult siblings so they could have each other while you managed a new baby.

Now,  The One Reason To Let Them Live:



My kid likes them.


3 thoughts on “Hydration is Pee

  1. Our cats avoid the kitty litter and prefer to pee down the bath tub drains. It means the bath ends up being scrubbed multiple times a week, which is a pain when you just want to get through bathtime after a rough day.

    We have a double irritation with the cat hair… there’s black cat hair on all of the light coloured items and white hair on the dark items. i’m still looking for an effective hair removal tool since putting clothes in the dryer essentially weaves the hair into clothing!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: