So far this summer I have captured myself in The Tragic:
and The Divine:
The usual stuff in hashtag form.
To every thing there is a season and this summer I have turned, turned, turned myself free. I set everything free; the need to be heard, the need to be appreciated, the need for empathy and the simple act of wanting. In that release I have experienced what you may already know: mothering begets more mothering. The energy I poured forth in asking to be valued now pours into the value of my children. The sympathy I longed for when laden with unimaginable fatigue has been liberated. I carry my own weight. I gave up seeking appreciation because if you have to ask for it … appreciation is now something I offer, nothing more. By giving up what I need – what I thought I needed – I found more of my motherself to give. I have more patience and more presence and in turn I want even more of them. I now need to sleep closer to my children for example and as reward, I sleep more soundly and almost completely drug-free.
Wanting and needing got me nowhere; nothing ever changed. It was only when I let my well run dry and submerged anyway that I found peace.
Thank you for reading,