SAHSelfie

So far this summer I have captured myself in The Tragic:

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and The Divine:

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The usual stuff in hashtag form.

To every thing there is a season and this summer I have turned, turned, turned myself free.  I set everything free; the need to be heard, the need to be appreciated, the need for empathy and the simple act of wanting.  In that release I have experienced what you may already know: mothering begets more mothering.  The energy I poured forth in asking to be valued now pours into the value of my children.  The sympathy I longed for when laden with unimaginable fatigue has been liberated.  I carry my own weight.  I gave up seeking appreciation because if you have to ask for it … appreciation is now something I offer, nothing more.  By giving up what I need – what I thought I needed – I found more of my motherself to give.  I have more patience and more presence and in turn I want even more of them.  I now need to sleep closer to my children for example and as reward, I sleep more soundly and almost completely drug-free.

Wanting and needing got me nowhere; nothing ever changed.  It was only when I let my well run dry and submerged anyway that I found peace.

Thank you for reading,

L

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5 thoughts on “SAHSelfie

  1. Pingback: Calling Ahead | Black Panty Salvation

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