Have you seen the “Aging Obama” pictures of late?
They are meant to illustrate the toll of his presidency. I also spent the past six years aging prematurely but unlike the President, I can get nipped and tucked and not worry about headlines.
Sometimes it only takes five minutes’ worth of make-up to feel better but I have several reasons not to put on make-up:
- Snow = runny mascara
- Sick = clown face due to bright red nose
- Time = amirite?
I love wearing make-up though. I like how my painted face contrasts with my un-hairstyle. I like the tools. I like the precision. Lately my eyebrows have been on point:
As much as I like my face though I’m ready to stick needles in it. Or because I like my face I’m ready to stick needles in it? I went to a rejuvenation spa for a consultation recently and here’s what I learned:
My 11s are in good shape. I was like “My what?” WHAT? “11s” apparently are the parallel wrinkles in-between your eyebrows. Here is Matt Damon, who like me, is 45:
He has well-defined 11s, perfect for the gravitas of an actor his age. I suspect he’ll keep them. Hell, they’re probably insured. But when my 11s become 11s, they will be filled.
My skin could benefit from laser light therapy and mild dermabrasion. I also learned that the woman I spoke with was 39 and I nearly handed her all my credit cards right on the oh-wait-there-is-no spot. She looked amazing but had started these procedures herself more than 10 years ago. I took my hand off my wallet pondering a flawless but endless and very expensive future.
I have not returned to the “spa”. I do feel when my term is over I could use a pick-me-up, in the literal sense, but right now I’m going to work with what I’ve got, which is plenty, and make time for things that pick-me-up in the figurative sense, like ridiculous gifs:
How are you feeling this winter? What is making you feel good about yourself? Is it candy? Yeah, me too.